Here are my requirements to run for office in Falls County, Texas in no particular order.
- You must have lived outside of the county for at least 15 years of your adult life. Furthermore, living in any county that borders Falls County does not count (McLennan, Bell, Robertson, Limestone, and Milam). You must have lived far enough away from the county to not remember the way things have always been done.
- You must average reading at least one nonfiction book a week. Falls County officials need some "intelligence of knowledge" (not my term, but great regardless) so ingesting vast quantities of information is required. Preferably stuff on public policy applicable to the county.
- You must not have the patience to put up with nonsense. When a county resident starts spewing garbage and BS from every pore, just tell them they're full of it and move on.
- You must never have been an employee of Falls County prior to running for office. Fresh blood is a requirement.
- You must promise, if in a relevant position, to never, ever pave another foot of Falls County roads. The current paved roads cannot be maintained much less new ones. Promising to make some paved roads gravel roads and some gravel roads dirt roads would also be a nice touch.
- You must never, without significant study, dismiss a policy alternative for Falls County. Even if this policy has never been tried, if it looks promising, try it. You can't screw the county up much more, so try something new.
- The words "historic preservation" should never leave your lips. Historically, the county has been poor. I'm not interested in preserving that.
And before anyone says anything, I disqualify myself because quite frankly, I'm smart enough not to run for office in Falls County.