Monday, April 23, 2007

Sheryl Crow Needs to Keep Her Nose Out of My Business! Literally!

On Sheryl Crow's Biodiesel Bus Blog she advocates the use of less toilet paper.
Here's a sample:
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

An even greater amount of conservation would occur if we did any of the following:
a) Don't wipe
b) Wipe with a sock which we then wash out
c) Wipe with our hands and then wash them
d) Use newspaper. The Waco Trib works great
e) Use the liner notes from Sheryl Crow albums
f) Use leaves (FYI: pines cones DON'T work well at all!)
g) Eat lots of cheese so the problem solves itself
h) Ban prunes and prune juice (I feel sorry for you older readers, but it's for a good cause)
i) Finally, establish the Association of Sanitary Statistics (ASS for short) and a network of monitors to track toilet paper usage and administer fines to offenders

The first ASS monitor who shows up while I'm on the can to try and tell me how many squares of TP to use will leave covered in...

No comments: